Unexpected : of Korean music and Japanese cartoons

               You know how wrong they can get, right? First impressions.

               I mean, I’ve always been bad with my judgement, but of course, prejudice will always exist, as long as we’re human. For instance, when you meet someone for the first time, you’re bound to have a first impression of them. They may be spot on, but most of the time for me, they’re way off course.

               Often I’ve written off people who, upon meeting for the first time, come across as annoying. And just as often, they turn out to be my closest friends.

               Well, it appears the same not only applies to people, it applies to my interests.

               A year or two ago, if you were to tell me about a Korean song or talk about an anime, I’d have put on one of those smiles + nodded along to your every word, probably thinking about something else more interesting like, how well the grass was growing in my yard. Yeah, that was me for you a year or so ago –narrow-minded and content with what I know.

               God how things have changed. Currently I’m picking up the Japanese language on my own with dictionary and multi-lingual daddy in tow. And to think that I’d have never picked up his dusty old Japanese dictionary if it weren’t for my two current favourite animes –‘Kaichou wa Maid Sama!’ and ’07-Ghost’.

               Also, you’d be pleased –or unimpressed, depending on whether you are a K-pop fan or not- that I have the song ‘Fiction’ on my mind and ‘Bonamana’ in my phone. Alright, I’m not quite up to date as I’d like to be with the Korean tunes but I’m just getting started. I’m afraid venturing into Korean linguistics will have to wait though –I’m taking French classes at the moment, self-teaching Japanese aside.

               All I’m saying is, one second I’m confident there was nothing these forms of entertainment could offer me; but the next, I’m all over it. Bottom line: never diss it until you’ve tried it. Although, I’ve tried my ear at a little indie and I only go as far as Florence and the Machine –they’re probably not even that indie anymore. 

Sins of My Youth

It’s been a while since I’ve last swum.

There’s a country club equipped with an Olympic-sized pool nearby my place and by car, it would probably only take 5 minutes, tops. However, it also boasts having three outdoor tennis courts and as my sisters and I have been taking tennis lessons for a year or two now, playing tennis would be our natural option over swimming.

Still, the prospect of being submerged in a large pool of water was inviting especially with the sun beating down quite mercilessly of late. So Jenny –second younger sister and best friend- and I, waggled our eyebrows at each other, having the same thought.

One fine public holiday –our country has quite a few to spare-, we made it a family affair; an hour of badminton followed by another hour of swimming, or rather, lazing around in the pool, depending on how much energy we would have left by the end of the day.

After a good hour of strenuous activity on the badminton court, we headed to the pool, eager for our first dip in months, perhaps a year and more.

Once submerged in the water, I couldn’t wait to begin my laps. I recall having swum 10 laps once and only once, and that was eons ago; I also remember feeling tired halfway of the first lap, always. Much to my astonishment, I’d made it to the end of my second lap before the lactic acid’s effects on my muscles kicked in.

The authorities have always been tactful enough to allocate several lanes for lap swimmers, separating the rough-housing bunch from those who wanted an actual aquatic workout. I chuckled to myself –a few years ago I’d been contented to be on the other side, splashing around with my sisters without concern for exercise; now here I was, putting on my goggles, ready to lose some calories and get a good night’s sleep.

I enjoyed my time in the water thoroughly but due to time constrictions, only managed six laps before hitting the showers.

Upon entering the locker room, the chilly draft from the air conditioner assaulted my still wet skin, the sweet smell of shampoo and wood from the sauna room filled my senses as I avoided getting my toes trotted on by little screaming kids in lethal looking clogs. If I’d closed my eyes, it would feel just like when I was fourteen or so when I still paid frequent visits to the pool; the only difference being I lost some weight, the glasses and my utter dislike for those pesky running children, ha-ha, aging.

So that was that. Ah, memories.

And now, methinks I will be going swimming more often J

SlutWalk

               Recently, a campaign which termed itself ‘SlutWalk’ caught my eye. The name itself is already quite the attention grabber but more so are the pictures that come along with articles about said event.

               In the papers as well as on the internet, you will find pictures of women scantily clad, holding placards with witty but empowering statements like, quote, ‘I am greater than the contents of my bra’ coined to ‘SlutWalk’.

               I was intrigued the first time I came across an article about the campaign and it turns out that the objective of the walk was to make it clear to the masses that victims of rape and other sexual assaults are not to be blamed. Many who took part in the event were sexually assaulted and unfortunately, blamed for the attacks.

               I instantly found ‘SlutWalk’ to my liking. It takes a lot for someone who has been sexually assaulted to come forth to the authorities; but often, instead of lauding you for your courage to speak up, they immediately term you the real culprit, for dressing too suggestively.

               But how often is it that rape victims were provocatively dressed? In countries like India were sexual assault is rampant but widely ignored, were all these victims dressed as ‘sluts’? Even if one chose to stroll in minimal clothing, should it be taken as an invitation?

               Samantha Wright is the woman to thank for bringing this campaign to life. Originally established after a policeman told a victim she’d deserved having the crime that happened to her due to the way she dressed, Samantha also has her personal reasons behind the walk –her husband was previously a victim of sexual assault himself.

               Although I do not condone ever dressing like a slut when going out, I take my hat off to Samantha’s brainchild, ‘SlutWalk’.

Hummingbird Heartbeat - Katy Perry Cover by Jessie

this is me singing a song i absolutely love by the charismatic Katy Perry

i only hope i've done the song justice :)

Chasing Dreams

         From the day I took my first exam, I’ve already duly accepted the fact that my intelligence is simply, average. Maybe in a different world, namely the western one, I’d be considered a smart student, but in the discouraging reality known to us Asian kids as life, someone of my knowledge is hardly outstanding.

               Knowing this hardly brought my spirits down, for I had no desire to be amongst the brainy, competitive + hardworking clan. Leisure while working has always been the way for me + always will be. You would never catch me spending extra hours in the study or doing extra exercises after finishing homework to stay ahead in the game. Nope, my dear mother would hope so but I as much as I loved the woman, I could not bring myself to read for another good whole hour when I could be writing a song about not reading for another good whole hour.

               But I always do the work I am assigned + study when it is time to study. I can’t say I thrive too well for normal exams, but I usually achieve something within my satisfaction when it comes to the real deal.

               I remember primary school. Lick Hung, the notoriously strict but prestigious Chinese school; the bane of my peers who attended said institution. I never felt contempt towards the school though, not once. Although I’ve gotten my fair share of punishments, I found that, without having to do much myself, I’d scraped through UPSR –public examination for those graduating primary school- with 6 As + 1 B.

               As I am the eldest in my extended family on my maternal side, I’ve set the benchmark for my younger counterparts.

               The next major exam I’d hurdled over was PMR –public examination which determines your route in the next + last two years in high school. Throughout my first three years in secondary school, SMK Subang Utama, I’d been fairly average. I remember nights of slacking + then nights of cramming right before school exams.

               Then in the month of August, something happened. I’d come across a well kept secret that tore through me like a spear would. I’d assumed the worst. My good faith shaky + eyes teary, I could not believe it. But then again, I had no solid proof of the incredulous ideas sprouting out in my mind. I forced myself to push them aside for now, until October when PMR would be over + I would ponder further on the matter.

               Fate decided otherwise. On the night of the first day of PMR, something came up which confirmed my earlier fears + just like that, I was broken. My naivety was shattered + disdain gripped my heart. I remember it being painful. I cried myself to sleep, scorn filling my senses like it never did before.

               + that’s how I sat for the rest –seven- of my eight remaining papers.

               I recall flipping through the papers in a blur, probably because my eyes were filled with tears hot with contempt. I recall finishing in record time although my hands shook with rage. I recall weird looks from the examiners upon finding me sprawled on the table, scribbling words of hate on the back of my papers as my tears drenched them.

               That was why, when my results came out –seven As + a B for Mandarin- my mother had cried into my neck. I’m not one to tear up when something good happens but considering the hardship I’d gone through, the tears came. In full view of the other students too, how embarrassing.

               So that’s that. Time to move on to greener pastures. I’d chosen Pure Science subjects for my SPM –public exam for those graduating high school, equivalent to O levels.

               In addition to my science inclined subjects, I’d taken up Accounting too.

               This story is a less dramatic one though. However, I still managed to shed tears for two papers I’d flunked in tests –Chemistry + Add Math- hence earning myself the nickname, Crybaby.

               That didn’t stick for long though, as I recall being the first one to be given the boot in a Spelling Bee. My friends didn’t let me live it down, as on the birthday cake they so graciously got me –on the day of an Add Math trial paper too- that year was the message ‘Happy Birthday our favourite Spelling Bee’ or something of the sort. But hey, would you have spelt ‘puritan’ correctly upon hearing the word for the first time? Yes? Well, I didn’t.

               At this point in my life, I looked back + realized, I’d never aced all my subjects. Not once. I was always close, having one B get in the way. So I secretly harboured hope that maybe this time, I’d make it.

               Again, fate decided I didn’t deserve it so 4A+’s, 2A’s, 3A-‘s, 1B+ + a B was what I got. + yeah, that’s the rating system for you; more math.

               Naturally, the next step was to consider several pre-university options. Some of which were the foundation courses or STPM/A levels/SAM/CPU etc. I was torn between my love for justice + biology –then, my plan was to be a surgeon. Ambitious for someone of average intellect, no? The fallback plan was to be a criminal lawyer. While the thought of putting criminals behind bars appealed to me, I’d really wanted to help people in the most important way possible. After all, health is everything.

               My mother took me to many a doctor + lawyer friend to sort myself out. But it only blurred my vision more.

               Doctors warned that being in the medical profession means very little down time, if any. + although rewarding when a patient is saved, can be devastating for someone as emotionally intact as I. I mean, I cried while watching ‘Dumbo’ + I was nicknamed crybaby at 17.

               Lawyers claim that besides working hard, they play hard too. Sounds like a plan, but then again you know what they say about lawyers being leeches. What more in a country where corruption runs it? I mean, I love Malaysia + I’m one of the few patriotic people my age but seriously, corruption is right under our noses + most people don’t care. I so do not condone ‘if you can’t beat’em, join’em’ in this context.

               In the end, I’d settled with Cambridge A levels at Taylor’s College. Despite warnings that this was not going to be a picnic by any measure, I went on to tread in deep waters. + only when there was no way out of it had I realized how truly deep the water was.

               I started out with five subjects, Biology, Chemistry, Mathematics, Economics + Thinking Skills. The last two were new to me + I soon found out, were definitely not on my side.

               For the first half of A levels –the verdict is combined from results in AS (that’s the first half) + A2- I’d scored 3A’s + 2B’s. I didn’t consider it to be an outstanding result of any sort, but was relieved.

               However, scoring B’s –Chemistry + Economics- would mean that to raise it to A’s in the end would be quite a feat. According to experienced lecturers, for a student to achieve an A overall with a B in AS would be difficult, if not rare, as everybody knows that it is much harder to score in A2 than in AS.

               Having never liked Economics, I decided to let go of the subject + as Thinking Skills are only required till AS, that was out of my hair as well.

               Although I only had three subjects then, the dream of achieving straight A’s glowed only dimly in the back of my mind. I did the math; to score straight A’s, I’d have to achieve marks of 75, 76 + 87 for Biology, Mathematics + Chemistry respectively. The odds were very steeply stacked. + not in my favour, too.

               Knowing I couldn’t do it on my own, I enlisted the help of friends, lecturers + even one tuition class. Nearing the final examination, I received my forecast given by my lecturers based on their view on my capabilities in class + my previous efforts. The forecast was ABB for biology, mathematics + chemistry respectively. It wasn’t very comforting, but it ceased to really dampen my self-esteem. After all, the minimum requirement for a Law degree in Taylor’s university is three C’s. But of course, we all want the best for ourselves.

               Only a few days ago, it was judgement day. I’d met up with a few good friends of mine, ignoring the disconcerting feeling in my gut, to check our results online.

               Due to the fact that most of the A levels students around the globe were anxious to check their results the second it was accessible online, the website was a mess. Many spent hours in front of their computers + other digital devices, waiting in agony for the page to load.

               I’d settled for having lunch + a good chat with my buddies before joining the others in the angst.

               It was almost 1pm when I endeavoured to log in to my account. I clicked the refresh button mercilessly as I competed with the many other students trying to access to their own accounts.

               However, before I was ready, my page had loaded.

               Both my hands flew to my face as I hadn’t been prepared for it + I watched helplessly at the screen.

               Who’d have thought? Me, of the relatively average intellect would achieve what which has been impossible in the back of my mind. It completely threw me off guard, + living up to my reputation, the tears came. Subtly, but still, they came.

               So, with the spring back in my step + self-worth restored –existed is more like it, as it was never really there before-, I am looking forward to bigger + better things in life + hopefully, getting closer to making that little bit of difference in the world someday.

               Adam ! <3

MTV World Stage : Live in Malaysia 2011

  When I first got to know that 30 Seconds to Mars were coming down for one of the World Stage concerts, my heart hardly skipped a beat. I mean, they were great with 'The Kill', 'Attack', 'From Yesterday' + 'A Beautiful Lie' but I was less appreciative of their 'This Is War' album. I mean, 'Kings + Queens' + 'Closer to the Edge' were good stuff but it lacked that impact their previous songs had on me.

  So when Sherman Wong (Manmaid?) had won his two highly yearned for passes + Charmaine Wong gushed about it to me over the phone -across 400km from Johor Bahru- I was happy for them, but again, unperturbed.

  "You should totally get one so we can hang out." Charmaine suggested, elation clear in her voice.

 As much as I'd love to hang out with them at a rockin' jam, the idea of coughing up RM50 to see local band –in my opinion the best one- Pop Shuvit, BEAST -I didn't even know the number of boys in the band then if you could call it a band- , disco pop rock-ish Neon Trees + the new 30 STM didn't sound too appealing.

  However at the end of the week, I'd driven all the way to Mid Valley Megamall just to pick up two passes from a dude who had last minute obligations.

  On the afternoon of 24th July 2011, Charmaine + Sherman arrived in KL by bus + after lunch, mummy sent all five of us , 15 year old second sister + best friend Jenny Lim, 4 months younger + other best friend Charmaine Wong, 16 year old 30STM-crazy cousin Sherman Wong, my peer + good friend Stephanie Siao + myself) to I-City for the much anticipated -for some- event.

  Upon arrival (approximately 5pm), there was already a throng of people registering as more trickled in to join the queue. At registration, cameras, water bottles, food + even umbrellas were confiscated as everyone was handed a fan + water resistant poncho -which i laud, i mean, talk about thinking ahead.

  Sherman had decided to make a mad dash to the stage as soon as we get the chance, but the huge crowd that preceded us easily dashed his hopes of getting too near to the stage. However, for the fun of it, as soon as we were clear of the gates, i grabbed Jenny's hand + sprinted towards the stage with the other three trailing closely.

  As we were parched + had no water -Stephanie had her bottle confiscated-, Jenny + I decided to get drinks. With a RM10 bill in my hand, i thought i had enough for 5 cups of whatever they had but ended up getting only 3 cups of water as one cup cost RM3. Coke + Ribena were RM5 each.

  JJ + Ean -the genuinely funniest guys on radio that i know of- greeted us (a 15,000-strong crowd) with another dude whose face + name escapes me. They threw free shirts into the crowd + got us to chant 'MTV WORLD STAGE' at the top of our lungs. The cameras above us were recording in 3D + the preview would air on the 8th of August in Malaysia -Steph's birthday.

  After a good half hour or so of waiting, Pop Shuvit charged onto the stage, opening the show. I'd seen them live once when they opened for My Chemical Romance + they were hands down my favourite Malaysian band with their punk + hip hop appeal. Every song was adrenaline pumped + by the end of their set, i was jumping up + down + singing along to 'Marabahaya' -my favourite song of theirs yet.

  So then i was thinking to myself that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. Sore feet, dry throat + lumbar aches aside, i was having a good time, even if the VJs were kind of annoying.

  Sherman who'd only been really excited about 30 STM -the highlight of the event- exited the crowd at this point. It really was quite stuffy + everyone had begun to sweat except sweat-poreless Charmaine.

  "Where's Neon Trees? We don't want BEAST!" A girl shouted near us while some well-built chaps from MSU chanted, "Beast! Beast! Beast!"

  I wasn't too keen on watching this particular boyband either because I've never been a fan of lip synching or cheesy dance moves. But we were smack in the middle of the crowd + I didn't want to leave just because of BEAST, acronym for Boys of the East Standing Tall. No shit.

  After a good half hour –that’s how long we endured repetitive MTV ads on the huge screens on either side of the stage at every interval- BEAST took to the stage. Six boys –men?- in white busted out their slick moves + tongue twisting Korean lyrics as the crowd went wild. + you won’t believe which part of the crowd this was either. I mean, of course, there were crazy Korean-wave-love-stricken girls of all races screaming their hearts out, arms stretched towards our beastly performers, but many of the strapping guys around us –from teens to 20 something young male adolescents- were mirroring the actions of the crazed female BEAST fans as well. It was quite a sight, not to mention sound. I guess I’d underestimated said boyband. They delivered –you can tell they were giving it their all by their faces that glistened with sweat- even if it wasn’t my favourite kind of music. Even their songs, ‘Shock’ + ‘Breath’ got stuck in my head long after the concert was over – in a good way though. Oh + just so we’re clear, the boys didn’t lip synch.

  Right after the BEAST set, many from the front part of the crowd started to leave. Either the Korean wave is really doing well in Malaysia, or the people up front are starting to retire from the oxygen deprived pit to get overcharged drinks.

  Half an hour later, it was time for Neon Trees to shine –I love puns, don’t you? + the ironic thing was, i-City the venue of the concert had arrays of brilliantly lit up trees which were really, neon. The rocked out drummer of Neon Trees –who’s female by the way- had begun a solid beat on stage with the guitarists. + then from the screens, we saw the very indie looking Tyler Glenn with a sorta-mohawk my mum would’ve wrinkled her nose in disapproval at was running through the crowd to the stage. Nobody –except Neon Trees fans- were expecting too much from the other acts that day. I mean, come on, 30 Seconds to Mars were performing! They’ve been in the industry for quite a while now what with their international recognition + gorgeous + talented brothers, the other acts were just minor distractions to most. But I have to say, so far the first two acts have really held their own. What about Neon Trees? Sure, they’ve that annoyingly catchy song ‘Animal’ on heavy rotation on the radio with ‘Your Surrender’ hot on the previous single’s heels but were they a band of substance? Well Tyler Glenn + his band really proved their worth as I could not get over the fact that he was such an amazing vocalist. He was an engaging man, prancing around on the stage while holding all the notes in the right places. Enough said, Neon Trees really were the underdogs. + to think that I first heard of them in Tap Tap Revenge.

  Halfway through their set though, I really had to go. Yeah, as in, go, go. It was really the last thing on my list you know, use one of those mobile toilets that look so horrible from the outside. Alas, I had no choice. Jenny faithfully but reluctantly exited the crowd with me –she really wanted to see 30 STM from where we were standing which had a pretty good view. Fortunately for me, the cubicle wasn’t soiled. Much.

  As we were out of the crowds already, + getting back to where Charmaine + Steph were standing seemed like an incredulous idea – I would never push my way through the crowd just to get closer to the stage unlike some people because that’s kinda like cheating- Jenny + I got drinks, an MTV World Stage T-shirt + some snacks.

  However, that also meant we had to cheer for 30 STM from way back in the crowd + although I was glad for the breathable cooler air we had outside of the crowd, Jenny stood beside me, a little bummed + yearned to be a little closer.

  By the time 30 STM took to the stage to the many tired, aching but still energetic fans, it was approximately 10pm. At first because we were so far from the stage, when Jared Leto, lead singer of 30 STM calming strolled onto the stage in a black poncho, dark sunnies + dark brown hair slicked back, I thought he was an impostor. A vampiric one at that. + he sounded so different live. But a few songs into the set, he took off those shades + flashed us those marble baby blues + the crowd went wild –again.

  Jenny cheered so loudly beside me she must’ve lost some of her voice. + she had school bright + early tomorrow too. But she didn’t care. + neither did I at that point. Most people in the back were more apathetic compared to those in the middle + front of the crowd so the most they did were nod their heads to 30STM’s rocked out songs. Jared Leto decided to take things into his own hands though as he instructed “Jump! + for those around you who aren’t jumping, grab their legs + throw them into the air. I’m sure they won’t mind.” + Jenny + I did as we were told.

  Arm in arm, we jumped till we got dizzy + couldn’t jump no more. By the time 30STM got to an acoustic version of ‘the Kill’ –I was really hoping they would do it the rocked out way but beggars can’t be choosers-, Jenny + I were sitting on our ponchos, on the ground.

  At 10.45pm, Sherman, Charmaine, Steph, Jenny + I walked out of i-City to the sounds of Jared’s voice singing ‘Closer to the Edge’.

  + that’s how the night ended. Perfect. Who cares if it gave me sore feet + nausea the next day? I had plenty of fun with good company + excellent live music. + to think I scoffed at the idea of going at first. Though, I did have to pay for my ticket.

  Seriously though, I had a good time, + I just might attend the next MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia. Oh please bring Adam Lambert with you!