The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

No, Christmas wasn't exactly what I had in mind although it is one of my favourite festivals.

My birthday? That's probably a close second/third.

It's the Chinese New Year !

It never really occurred to me to be THE new year, especially because our lives are planned according to that one universal calendar where January 1st is the accepted first day of the new year. But this festival has always had a special standing in my heart that makes it stand out from the rest.

A lantern at a temple on CNY eve

Crane origami; not sure of the link between this paper crane and CNY but hey it's purty

And then there's this red thing that I love but am not sure about

To begin, I LOVE the CNY tunes that I've heard make people cringe or avoid malls.

Sure, there's lots of unnecessarily loud clanging and firecracker sounds but that's all part of its charm. When I hear it I'm instantly in a good-ADHD-jumping mood and I can already imagine the visits to the relatives' for ang paos, sharing sweet treats and drinks, loud conversations and laughter, what's not to love? And hey, aren't the dolled up little girls in these videos just precious? 财神到 (God of Prosperity's Here) *yayyyyyyyyyyyy*

But there are always classics that exude whatever grace and tenderness the season holds 春风吻上我的脸 (The Spring Wind Kissed My Face)

And if I were to reminisce, every first night of the CNY when the relatives on my dad's side come over for the huge first night feast thing, after having their fill but before gathering for a gamble, I'm always seated at the piano with my dad, his sisters and their little grandchildren all around me; I play accompaniment to Chinese classics as they belt them out one after another. Those times I grow concerned about the amount of spit that settles into my hair as they passionately serenade and the little curious fingers that play around with the piano and its cover which could potentially maim me but only when I think about how I won't be doing that this year it gets to me.

Who doesn't love a hungry baby gnawing on some red packet?

Errbody wants a piece of that ivory

More of the little angels

And then, perhaps not the most obvious although the season is all about spring and how everything comes back anew, you gotta love the flowers. Enough said.

Then there are the laughter filled, family reunion dinners that are characteristically part of Chinese culture. And if it isn't a room in a home or a restaurant hall filled with loud obnoxious chatter, it probably isn't the season I'm talking about here. And don't get me started on the dishes that caters mainly to carnivores.

'Yee sang', a combination of pickles, nuts, crackers and usually salmon slices
The point of this dish is when you gather for dinners, you stand together around this and start to toss the ingredients together with your chopsticks as you say (shout, especially when you're with your playfully competitive cousins) good wishes for yourself and those you love
The process is called 'lou sang'

Prawn crackers and 'acar', pickled vegetables

'Yok kon' or 'bak kwa', depending on the dialect you choose to say it in, are sweet, marinated, thin slabs of meat barbecued to reddish brown, greasy perfection
Non Chinese friends have described these as tasting like jerky

The aftermath of a 'lou sang'

And then there's the 'thrill' of playing host.

Every year, whether true or false, when your parents' friends come over for one of the many parties you throw, you're bound to hear that you've grown taller or lost weight. If you've in fact gained some, they probably just won't bring weight up at all.

Maybe it's just me but I always enjoyed putting on that smile on top of the already cute outfit you've spent ages picking out, offering hospitable greetings and cold drinks amid the hot sunny weather and checking to see whose kids have had puberty paid a visit to.

Albeit extremely tiring on the mind and body afterwards, the feeling of being told you've thrown a good party is worth the process.

Card games of a non-gambling nature with the kids while the adults fork out money for the real deal over beer

Firecrackers; always something to look forward to. More like something to light and then run from

Family portraits (cousins)

And of course there's always the candid version aided by the playful uncle

Mid-hosting sisters photo

The visits are also one of my favourite parts of the celebration.

You get to appreciate other people's efforts they put in for the new year, be it the pastries they put out or red decorations. And of course again there are the compliments. I'm a sucker for compliments.

All dressed up and ready to hit the homes on the planned visiting route !

With who I believe is correctly referred to as my cousin first removed who apparently is a mini me

Daddy with a baby

Mummy with the same baby

Charmaine posing according to my instructions
The reflected sunlight aided that 'smize'

Jenny allowing me a photo of her pretty braid and back

Janet beaming for me in her Cheongsam mid-visit

Char and I in some hair-whipping action while in demure Cheongsams

And that's just an excerpt of why CNY trumps all other yearly events for me.

When else do such cozy, vibrant, sumptuous interactions and celebrations come along?

Happy Chinese New Year !

Which Would You Choose: Popularity or Talent ?

So it's no secret that I'm a low profile kid.

Being an introvert and having a fear of mingling in crowds only lets you go so high up the popularity hierarchy.

But I ain't complaining. I love where I am. I have the perfect family who make me happy, the nicest, funniest, most awesome close friends and friends who I have occasional chats with. All is good in the world.

Until it comes down to when it interferes with my passion for music.

I've loved music before I knew I did. But that story is for another time.

I absolutely love nothing more than being at the piano, phone with me in case I need the key of a song I'm currently in love with (regrettably, I'm not pitch perfect), notebook and pen in my hand, ready to jot down the chords I find by ear for future reference. Ask my family; I can spend up to hours at the piano.

Only in the last few years have I started making covers and posting them to YouTube. And making good music I'm contented with is one thing; making music that the majority of the public likes and expressly shows affection for is another.

That's something I've come to realize. This inevitable element called popularity comes into play, unfortunately when situations don't even call for it.

Take a pretty good photo and an amazing photo for example. A pretty good photo, if taken by someone who parties/mingles/is just socially awesome would mean tons of recognition, likes and shares on FB and admiration. The amazing photo, which deserves more likes, if anything, gets half or less if in the hands of someone less obvious in the social scene.

This injustice has haunted not only me, but my other music/art-making friends.

In some of these conversations of ours we also acknowledge that we don't make the kind of music the general public are into nowadays (a whole lot of indie and acoustic stuff). We're more for the melodramatic.

I'd wondered if I should give up on doing what I liked and making music more people enjoy, but the thought of it sent shivers down my spine. It really was like getting a cat to bark (alright, not impossible, I've seen the video of the cat barking). It was unnatural, like trying to be someone you're not. And I've had my share of that, thank you very much.

So when I heard of a singing competition organized by Malaysian students for Malaysian students in the UK, my interests were piqued. When I further heard that only the most liked videos will get through, some of that interest disintegrated.


I've gotten many personal messages on FB from acquaintances and friends to help 'like' a photo, video, entry in these competitions to better their chances at "winning". And most of the time, I do give them a 'like' or two. I guess I like helping people out and 'liking' them wouldn't cost me anything but a few seconds so I did, and I'd always wish them good luck.

So back to the singing competition. Already my social hierarchy was laughing at my singing abilities, knowing the ride was not going to be smooth if I took it on. But I did nevertheless, only because I didn't want to regret not doing it later.

And no sooner had I sent in my entry, I wanted to pull out immediately. How could I top the 'likes' on some videos some of my musically inclined friends and I regarded as pretty good but hardly outstanding?

I lamely shared it once on FB and nodded, thinking to myself, well, that's that.

And really, if I were in this alone, I would not have gone beyond 200 likes at most. But I have special friends who don't cease to amaze me. Many shared my video again and in certain FB groups but a certain few individuals took the time (their time to sleep and do other things for themselves) to help me obtain more likes. The extent to which they went just to help little ol' me was a shock albeit a pleasant one to me.

In the end, my video was one of the most liked and I am through to the next round.

It's overwhelming. Yet, something was nagging in the back of my mind.

There were certain participants I really wanted to see go to the next round as well, even if that means I'd have stiffer competition. I even shared some of the videos, knowing I was digging my own grave. What was I doing? These people are popular, good-looking, talented people. I'm barely one of those three, why am I doing this to myself?

I have yet to take a good look at my competitors but no doubt some of whom I have are good and I have my work cut out for me. But it was also unfair that some really talented people did not make the cut only because they were a little or a lot short on likes.

Also, around the time the results were finalised, I was made to feel like I, me, the one who doesn't put myself out there where people are, got through basically because I was "popular".

Bullcrap, man. If anything, you definitely own the social hierarchy. Who am I? I'm the girl who prefers the piano to the clubs.

What was the worst was that I was made to feel that my singing was not a winning factor.

I've been through a lot with myself in terms of my vocal abilities and tone. The stages of which I've loved and been absolutely abhorred with my voice is nothing you can imagine. At one point, I wanted to give up on singing.

But the disgusted part of myself can only hold up for so long when my natural, undeniable passion for music and making it starts to receive life again.


I'm back b******.

So although I was swayed a little by a comment that tried to drive home that my accomplishment was solely due to my non-existent popularity that exceeds yours, don't you forget that I can sing too.

Though I'm sure to stay away from popularity contests from now on.
Yes, I see the logic behind having these things but maybe you should try to even out the playing field -make the votes 30% of the criteria for winning, the other 70% should be by judges or your own committee. This is how k-pop competition shows determine their winners (although these methods have also been abused).


Anyway, this is a big thank you and explanatory note on how I feel about the competition.

Thanks to all who liked my video and your compliments have been kind <3

And of course, I'll return the favour next time. Don't hesitate to ask. 

Because I know that feel, bro/girl.

And in any case, if it wasn't already obvious, talent trumps popularity for me.

And I'd like to refer to a quote whose author and exact words escape me but it goes something like 'If you're gonna do something, might as well do something one person will like', that one person being yourself peeps.

Do things because they make you happy (Y)

PS: The video I sent in as my audition entry

Let Out the Beast (Cover by Jessrockstah, DORKyungsoo, kezs, Onlaykai)

Woots check out the four of us singing and rapping and loving EXO <3

For the Love of Rain

I cannot begin to describe my love for rain in words.

One minute I'm on the floor reading when it sounds like a drizzle has begun outside and I am automatically in a good mood. Then I hear it really start to pour and when the pitter patter of raindrops get really loud and constant I cannot contain myself and I rush to the window just to watch the rain come down in sheets. I press my face nearer to the window to catch a whiff of that lovely rain smell.