Which Would You Choose: Popularity or Talent ?

So it's no secret that I'm a low profile kid.

Being an introvert and having a fear of mingling in crowds only lets you go so high up the popularity hierarchy.

But I ain't complaining. I love where I am. I have the perfect family who make me happy, the nicest, funniest, most awesome close friends and friends who I have occasional chats with. All is good in the world.

Until it comes down to when it interferes with my passion for music.

I've loved music before I knew I did. But that story is for another time.

I absolutely love nothing more than being at the piano, phone with me in case I need the key of a song I'm currently in love with (regrettably, I'm not pitch perfect), notebook and pen in my hand, ready to jot down the chords I find by ear for future reference. Ask my family; I can spend up to hours at the piano.

Only in the last few years have I started making covers and posting them to YouTube. And making good music I'm contented with is one thing; making music that the majority of the public likes and expressly shows affection for is another.

That's something I've come to realize. This inevitable element called popularity comes into play, unfortunately when situations don't even call for it.

Take a pretty good photo and an amazing photo for example. A pretty good photo, if taken by someone who parties/mingles/is just socially awesome would mean tons of recognition, likes and shares on FB and admiration. The amazing photo, which deserves more likes, if anything, gets half or less if in the hands of someone less obvious in the social scene.

This injustice has haunted not only me, but my other music/art-making friends.

In some of these conversations of ours we also acknowledge that we don't make the kind of music the general public are into nowadays (a whole lot of indie and acoustic stuff). We're more for the melodramatic.

I'd wondered if I should give up on doing what I liked and making music more people enjoy, but the thought of it sent shivers down my spine. It really was like getting a cat to bark (alright, not impossible, I've seen the video of the cat barking). It was unnatural, like trying to be someone you're not. And I've had my share of that, thank you very much.

So when I heard of a singing competition organized by Malaysian students for Malaysian students in the UK, my interests were piqued. When I further heard that only the most liked videos will get through, some of that interest disintegrated.


I've gotten many personal messages on FB from acquaintances and friends to help 'like' a photo, video, entry in these competitions to better their chances at "winning". And most of the time, I do give them a 'like' or two. I guess I like helping people out and 'liking' them wouldn't cost me anything but a few seconds so I did, and I'd always wish them good luck.

So back to the singing competition. Already my social hierarchy was laughing at my singing abilities, knowing the ride was not going to be smooth if I took it on. But I did nevertheless, only because I didn't want to regret not doing it later.

And no sooner had I sent in my entry, I wanted to pull out immediately. How could I top the 'likes' on some videos some of my musically inclined friends and I regarded as pretty good but hardly outstanding?

I lamely shared it once on FB and nodded, thinking to myself, well, that's that.

And really, if I were in this alone, I would not have gone beyond 200 likes at most. But I have special friends who don't cease to amaze me. Many shared my video again and in certain FB groups but a certain few individuals took the time (their time to sleep and do other things for themselves) to help me obtain more likes. The extent to which they went just to help little ol' me was a shock albeit a pleasant one to me.

In the end, my video was one of the most liked and I am through to the next round.

It's overwhelming. Yet, something was nagging in the back of my mind.

There were certain participants I really wanted to see go to the next round as well, even if that means I'd have stiffer competition. I even shared some of the videos, knowing I was digging my own grave. What was I doing? These people are popular, good-looking, talented people. I'm barely one of those three, why am I doing this to myself?

I have yet to take a good look at my competitors but no doubt some of whom I have are good and I have my work cut out for me. But it was also unfair that some really talented people did not make the cut only because they were a little or a lot short on likes.

Also, around the time the results were finalised, I was made to feel like I, me, the one who doesn't put myself out there where people are, got through basically because I was "popular".

Bullcrap, man. If anything, you definitely own the social hierarchy. Who am I? I'm the girl who prefers the piano to the clubs.

What was the worst was that I was made to feel that my singing was not a winning factor.

I've been through a lot with myself in terms of my vocal abilities and tone. The stages of which I've loved and been absolutely abhorred with my voice is nothing you can imagine. At one point, I wanted to give up on singing.

But the disgusted part of myself can only hold up for so long when my natural, undeniable passion for music and making it starts to receive life again.


I'm back b******.

So although I was swayed a little by a comment that tried to drive home that my accomplishment was solely due to my non-existent popularity that exceeds yours, don't you forget that I can sing too.

Though I'm sure to stay away from popularity contests from now on.
Yes, I see the logic behind having these things but maybe you should try to even out the playing field -make the votes 30% of the criteria for winning, the other 70% should be by judges or your own committee. This is how k-pop competition shows determine their winners (although these methods have also been abused).


Anyway, this is a big thank you and explanatory note on how I feel about the competition.

Thanks to all who liked my video and your compliments have been kind <3

And of course, I'll return the favour next time. Don't hesitate to ask. 

Because I know that feel, bro/girl.

And in any case, if it wasn't already obvious, talent trumps popularity for me.

And I'd like to refer to a quote whose author and exact words escape me but it goes something like 'If you're gonna do something, might as well do something one person will like', that one person being yourself peeps.

Do things because they make you happy (Y)

PS: The video I sent in as my audition entry

Let Out the Beast (Cover by Jessrockstah, DORKyungsoo, kezs, Onlaykai)

Woots check out the four of us singing and rapping and loving EXO <3

Broken Strings Cover Collaboration (Dzaim and Jessie)

Broken String by James Morrison 

and Nelly Furtado (A Cover)

First collab with the lead singer of Pepper the Band yay :D 

Finally found someone who would do this song with me

Dzaim 

as 

male vocalist

guitarist

Jessie

as 

female vocalist

Charmaine

as

camera girl

assistant director

joke-cracker

Joel

as

critic/director

Kay, Julius, Nicholas

as

audience which gave us lots of pressure

An introductory guide to VIXX (from my perspective)

VIXX. Voice, Value, Visual in Excelsis.

Whatever that means. If you think what the acronym stands for is weird, you have yet to find out what BEAST and MBLAQ stand for. Though BAP is pretty cool while the acronym sounds funny.

I've heard of them before as rookies but took no notice. The name VIXX is hardly impressive or intriguing.

I only looked them up after coming across a picture of them on Instagram. They were performing on stage, each member clad in a fitted suit, perfectly made up face and the it-never-gets-old sexy mic strapped to their cheek. What caught my attention, though, were the yellow contact lenses and black nailpolish.

I'm a sucker for guys in nailpolish and eyeliner; the talent was an added bonus.

Curiosity led me to the song in which they donned the outrageous -even for k-pop standards- getup, 'On and On', or 'I'm Ready to Get Hurt'.

S&M? Not quite. It's about the pain of love, of course, as most k-pop songs are about. And damn was that addictive. Though an avid k-popper, I need a few listens to a new song to really get into it but I loved 'On and On' from, well, the ONset. Heheh.

One thing led to another and as is the usual case when it comes to k-pop groups, -girls, y'all know what I'm talking bout'- I get to know the whole group and a little more.

VIXX in high fashion. Hyuk, Ken, N, Hongbin, Ravi, Leo.

ERAS

1. SUPERHERO

As a k-pop rookie group, this may not have been the best choice of debut song to grab the attention of the masses (dramatic, epic songs about heartbreak often fare better) but this is delightfully catchy. It's also good for easy listening, okay, easier listening.

2. ROCK YOUR BODY

Carrying on with another infectious dancey tune, Rock Your Body started to mark a signature style -or so we thought- for VIXX. It's a feel good song with a catchy melody but again, not the kind that usually pulls in the fans by the truckloads.

3. ON AND ON (I'M READY TO GET HURT)

Only towards the end of this era did I pay attention to VIXX. And as is common in K-pop, the bad boy/heartbroken/dramatic kind of music which is a trademark of this genre worked well in VIXX's favour. Like me, many other k-poppers started showing VIXX support. And if I'm not wrong, this is their most successful song to date. Eyeliner, coloured contacts, black nailpolish and suits did wonders for VIXX. Another nice song from this era is 'I Don't Wanna Be An Idol'.

4. HYDE

Learning from their new found success, their next comeback -which I eagerly anticipated- was along the lines of a boy being an emotional wreck for a girl and becomes a monster, hence Hyde from Dr Jekyll and Hyde. I was on the fence about Leo's shoulder length wig but towards the end the company came to their senses and removed the item from their performances and promotions completely. Song is good too, the MV a little freaky and dark but you get to see a different side of the group. An amazing ballad in this album is 'Love Letter' in which all members, even Ravi show off a little of their vocals. Leo is a real show stealer in this one for me. 'Light Up the Darkness' is really catchy too.

 5. JEKYLL

Well, no surprise here. Though the song they are coming back with currently as of early August is 'G.R.8.U.' or 'You're Impressive'. I actually really like this song and it's much lighter than Hyde and it waxes lyrical about a girl being, well, GR8 (great). And ooh, VIXX's bare collarbones.

MEMBERS

Leo, the devil-may-care bad boy who hardly ever cracks a smile or says a peep but has a soft spot for animals, plays football, plays the piano, sings like an angel, is a pretty fine dancer too. He beats up his members -with love- when they make fun of him or when he doesn't get what he wants.

First time I saw Leo on TV, VIXX were playing a game. I had no idea who they were but k-pop groups' antics tend to be funny so I watched and this guy caught my attention because while pretty much all k-pop stars are either bubbly and crazy or sweet and diplomatic; Leo looked like he couldn't give a damn. Looking either bored or disinterested half the time, I kinda fell for this socially awkward tough guy. My bias in VIXX.

Hyuk, the youngest in the group, constantly the object of the members' abuse, cheerful, sometimes absent and indifferent like Leo, a good kid. I can't tell you too much about this guy.

Hongbin, basically the face of the group. I think he's a decent dancer and has a nice voice too but most people and even the directors of their company/group peg him as just a pretty face. Seems pretty charming in videos. Very likeable.

Ken, the dork. He's that one friend who has a knack for comedy. Also a really good singer. Loves attention, trying -and succeeding the most among members- to make Leo laugh, and being known as the cute guy. Cute as in adorable. I'm talking Gwiyomi and Buing Buing.

Ravi, the necessary rapper in this k-pop group. Has a nice singing voice though. Has 'chocolate abs' whatever that means. Is nice, I suppose. Good dancer and helped with composing some of their songs.

N, the oldest which makes him -most of the time- the leader of the group. Something of a bully in my opinion honestly, but the members often get even. Always teased for being dark-skinned. He's a pretty funny guy too, an excellent dancer, has never really changed his hairstyle since debut except for the colour.

POPULARITY

Something totally irrelevant about VIXX which I find myself liking is how they're pretty similar in height, around 180cm. 

They're a talented bunch, with catchy songs and good looks to boot, but then again, nothing too different from the other existing boybands. Not to say they're not special, but if you think they're much, much better than all the other boybands, you're being a little biased without reason.

I think they definitely deserve more support than they're getting. They work really hard for performances and even variety shows. But of course, the company's popularity greatly affects how well you do in shows, rankings and fanbase. Debuting around the same time as EXO from SMENT, BAP from TSENT and BtoB from CUBE to name a few, this group while growing in popularity steadily, did not start out as well received as the others, especially EXO.

Nevertheless, people are beginning to recognise their talent so yay :) !

So here I conclude my beginner's guide to VIXX. Join us Starlights today ! :D




Oh yeah, and I made a cover of 'I Don't Wanna Be An Idol' :)
https://soundcloud.com/jessrockstah/vixx-i-dont-wanna-be-an-idol

Malaysian + Indonesian EXOtics Korean + Mandarin mashup of Machine by EXO

I've not collaborated with many people when it comes to making music although I've gotten some requests, but when a fellow EXOtic wished to cover an EXO song I was super excited.

It was on my Korean + Mandarin cover of EXO's Mama that led DORKyungsoo to me and she was nice about my singing and soon I've listened to her covers and we've followed each other on tumblr. Long story short, although I have no idea what she looks like or sounds like except when singing (which is pretty much like an angel) we managed a cover.

Voila !

Machine by EXO (Cover by Jessrockstah + DORKyungsoo)

My Soundcloud (jessrockstah)

My tumblr (jessrockstah)

DORKyungsoo's tumblr

DORKyungsoo's Soundcloud

Here's a picture of Yixing for good measure ^ ^

Thanks for listening !

The Ah-mazing Bruno Mars (feat the one and only King of Pop, MJ)

I've heard tons of people say and I can see why; but I wouldn't agree. Do you think Bruno Mars is the new Michael Jackson? Or that when God took back MJ he gave us Bruno?

For me, they're both incredibly talented, no doubt about it.
I don't know if MJ wrote songs but I think it's safe to assume he did because he was such a big star with a conscience for the environment and the people in it. I love the fact that he did a song about Earth; I'm an environmental activist (well, I usually just nag at my friends to recycle and stuff). He could dance, sing and was just a really influential person.

Bruno Mars has probably only been around for a quarter (or less?) of the time MJ was and he's definitely making his mark. In the modern pop music industry, next to Adam Lambert (I LOVE Adam) no one else in my mind comes close in terms of vocal power and range. But what I really love about Bruno is his songwriting capabilities.

My favourite of his are 'Grenade', 'It Will Rain', 'Rest of My Life' and his new one for sure, 'When I Was Your Man'. The combination of his raw vocals and sweet, heartbreaking and relatable lyrics really hit the right spot especially at the climax of the songs, usually in the bridge. There's one other song that's off the record that I've been thinking of covering for some time to. Apparently wrote it for a female artiste but I came across his version of it on Youtube and it's pretty awesome. Check it ! 'Girl In the Window'

And based on the few videos of his I've watched, the guy's got a sense of humour too. And he's pretty cute, to top it all off.

I wished I'd attended his concert here in Malaysia a few years ago :/
But such a talent will be around for a long time and I'll be sure to redeem myself :)

Anyways, I loved 'When I Was Your Man' so much that even though I was conflicted in the beginning about covering it because of a technicality (Nope, last I checked, I was not a man), after I started playing it on the piano in hushed style, I HAD to do it :)

This is my second Bruno Mars cover. I did 'It Will Rain' before that. I think I can relate to his songs better so yeah. The lyrics are really genius.

I transposed it 2 semikeys higher to Bm

My cousin on the guitar for 'It Will Rain' :)
She's a whale :D

Maybe an MJ cover next :P

A Tribute to My Chemical Romance - the best damn band for me thus far

The first song I heard by My Chemical Romance was 'Helena', a song written for Gerard's deceased grandmother. It played frequently on radio and TV. While the melody was nice, the video interesting and  the lead singer pretty cute at that time, I did not pay anymore attention to MCR.

Then I was 15, and 'Welcome to the Black Parade' came on the radio. With its piano introduction, raw vocals and marching band sounding undertone, my interest was piqued. I went on to watch the music video repeatedly and then to buy their album 'the Black Parade'.

On the way home I played the CD in the car -not the best idea when my mum was driving, she called it the usual, 'garbage', 'noise'- and skimmed the lyrics and photographs. People in black, white, red, pale faced and morbid feeling was the theme.

At 12 I wore black baggy clothes and even baggier pants which my mother loathed,  while listening to Avril Lavigne and Linkin Park as was what was 'acceptable' then among my peers. They grew out of it in middle school and I felt pressured to do the same. I traded the black for brighter hues but secretly wished I could go back to it.

As I started listening to 'the Black Parade', watched their videos, paid attention to the lyrics, I learned that MCR was embracing the idea of death, mostly by cancer like it was a mystical, romantic thing. My mum threw out the lyrics that came along with the album for fear that I would be too much influenced by their 'bad vibe' and follow the footsteps of the girl from London who committed suicide after listening to MCR for a fortnight or so.

I brushed off that ridiculous piece of news while continuing to find peace in MCR's music while hundreds of the MCRmy took to the streets in a protest declaring that MCR's music was not a bad influence on children, at least not to the extent of causing them to kill themselves -it was the girl's mental state that led to such severe and unpredictable consequences.

I think I can attest to that. I never once in my life had any remotely suicidal thoughts. In fact, by dwelling so deep into just their music, I improved my piano playing skills to accompany my singing their songs. I went back to wearing black as I was comfortable in it, I was still a pretty cheerful person and most of all, because MCR considered themselves outcasts (awesome ones, all the same), I felt comfortable with who I was and peer pressure had nothing on me since then.

I attended their concert here in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia at the end of 2009. 3rd December, my first ever rock concert. My two younger cousins came along, and we were chaperoned by my parents. They'd rather have their eardrums burst than have us go to a possible mosh pit on our own.

In the end, my parents had an amazing time and were yelling 'encore' at the end. The embarrassment I felt was overwhelmed by the fact that they could see why MCR was so important to my cousins and I.

After the concert, my craze for Gerard Way grew as did my cousin's for Mikey. We learnt a lot about the band's history thanks to suggested videos after suggested videos by YouTube.

We proceeded to buy 'Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge', 'The Black Parade is Dead' and 'Danger Days'. ' I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love' was not and is not available in music stores here so I listened to that online. Will get 'Conventional Weapons' as soon as I can.

When I heard of the band breaking up yesterday I felt my heart drop. I frantically searched the internet for news swatting this rumour away but alas, I was in for disappointment. As I rushed to my sister to say the words, 'MCR is breaking up', I felt my eyes well up with tears.

None fell, but the thought of me never getting to hear music uniquely theirs anymore tugged at my heart. I still harbour hopes that they'll be back together one day and I'll be jumping and squealing when I get the news.

Until then, here's what I have to say:

MCR, you've provided the most influential music in my life that helped me feel comfortable in the skin of that awkward person I was in high school.

Many of my friends shunned your music because it was 'emo', 'bad for the soul' or 'not popular'. I'm sorry they did not get to feel the brilliance you weaved into your songs.

Gee, you're a funny guy who's the center of attention on and off stage. I wish you well with your young family <3

Mikey, you awkwardly hot bassist, keep rocking on with those small nods you do when you play. Please don't ever fall down on stage again.

Frank, keep being that hot crazy guitarist spinnin' round on stage and looking badass.

Ray, you're the epitome of cool + talent when you're there harmonizing for Gerard and your fingers blazing up and down those frets. Rock on.

Bob, you were missed in Danger Days, but you're that cool underdog behind the drums.

Forever your Killjoy and in your MCRmy <3