Being an introvert and having a fear of mingling in crowds only lets you go so high up the popularity hierarchy.
But I ain't complaining. I love where I am. I have the perfect family who make me happy, the nicest, funniest, most awesome close friends and friends who I have occasional chats with. All is good in the world.Until it comes down to when it interferes with my passion for music.
I've loved music before I knew I did. But that story is for another time.
I absolutely love nothing more than being at the piano, phone with me in case I need the key of a song I'm currently in love with (regrettably, I'm not pitch perfect), notebook and pen in my hand, ready to jot down the chords I find by ear for future reference. Ask my family; I can spend up to hours at the piano.
Only in the last few years have I started making covers and posting them to YouTube. And making good music I'm contented with is one thing; making music that the majority of the public likes and expressly shows affection for is another.
That's something I've come to realize. This inevitable element called popularity comes into play, unfortunately when situations don't even call for it.
Take a pretty good photo and an amazing photo for example. A pretty good photo, if taken by someone who parties/mingles/is just socially awesome would mean tons of recognition, likes and shares on FB and admiration. The amazing photo, which deserves more likes, if anything, gets half or less if in the hands of someone less obvious in the social scene.This injustice has haunted not only me, but my other music/art-making friends.
In some of these conversations of ours we also acknowledge that we don't make the kind of music the general public are into nowadays (a whole lot of indie and acoustic stuff). We're more for the melodramatic.
I'd wondered if I should give up on doing what I liked and making music more people enjoy, but the thought of it sent shivers down my spine. It really was like getting a cat to bark (alright, not impossible, I've seen the video of the cat barking). It was unnatural, like trying to be someone you're not. And I've had my share of that, thank you very much.
So when I heard of a singing competition organized by Malaysian students for Malaysian students in the UK, my interests were piqued. When I further heard that only the most liked videos will get through, some of that interest disintegrated.
I've gotten many personal messages on FB from acquaintances and friends to help 'like' a photo, video, entry in these competitions to better their chances at "winning". And most of the time, I do give them a 'like' or two. I guess I like helping people out and 'liking' them wouldn't cost me anything but a few seconds so I did, and I'd always wish them good luck.
So back to the singing competition. Already my social hierarchy was laughing at my singing abilities, knowing the ride was not going to be smooth if I took it on. But I did nevertheless, only because I didn't want to regret not doing it later.
And no sooner had I sent in my entry, I wanted to pull out immediately. How could I top the 'likes' on some videos some of my musically inclined friends and I regarded as pretty good but hardly outstanding?
I lamely shared it once on FB and nodded, thinking to myself, well, that's that.
And really, if I were in this alone, I would not have gone beyond 200 likes at most. But I have special friends who don't cease to amaze me. Many shared my video again and in certain FB groups but a certain few individuals took the time (their time to sleep and do other things for themselves) to help me obtain more likes. The extent to which they went just to help little ol' me was a shock albeit a pleasant one to me.
In the end, my video was one of the most liked and I am through to the next round.
It's overwhelming. Yet, something was nagging in the back of my mind.
There were certain participants I really wanted to see go to the next round as well, even if that means I'd have stiffer competition. I even shared some of the videos, knowing I was digging my own grave. What was I doing? These people are popular, good-looking, talented people. I'm barely one of those three, why am I doing this to myself?
I have yet to take a good look at my competitors but no doubt some of whom I have are good and I have my work cut out for me. But it was also unfair that some really talented people did not make the cut only because they were a little or a lot short on likes.Also, around the time the results were finalised, I was made to feel like I, me, the one who doesn't put myself out there where people are, got through basically because I was "popular".
Bullcrap, man. If anything, you definitely own the social hierarchy. Who am I? I'm the girl who prefers the piano to the clubs.
What was the worst was that I was made to feel that my singing was not a winning factor.
I've been through a lot with myself in terms of my vocal abilities and tone. The stages of which I've loved and been absolutely abhorred with my voice is nothing you can imagine. At one point, I wanted to give up on singing.
But the disgusted part of myself can only hold up for so long when my natural, undeniable passion for music and making it starts to receive life again.
I'm back b******.
So although I was swayed a little by a comment that tried to drive home that my accomplishment was solely due to my non-existent popularity that exceeds yours, don't you forget that I can sing too.
Though I'm sure to stay away from popularity contests from now on.
Yes, I see the logic behind having these things but maybe you should try to even out the playing field -make the votes 30% of the criteria for winning, the other 70% should be by judges or your own committee. This is how k-pop competition shows determine their winners (although these methods have also been abused).
Anyway, this is a big thank you and explanatory note on how I feel about the competition.
Thanks to all who liked my video and your compliments have been kind <3
And of course, I'll return the favour next time. Don't hesitate to ask.
Because I know that feel, bro/girl.
And in any case, if it wasn't already obvious, talent trumps popularity for me.
And I'd like to refer to a quote whose author and exact words escape me but it goes something like 'If you're gonna do something, might as well do something one person will like', that one person being yourself peeps.
Do things because they make you happy (Y)
PS: The video I sent in as my audition entry
